Is Everything A Lot Like Sex?

Is Everything A Lot Like SexShelly Kramer writes one of my favorite blogs about social media. Her November 20 post, Why Social Media Is A Lot Like Sex naturally got my attention – as she intended. She linked to a slide show that answered her question.

Turns out that social media is a lot like sex because, among other reasons:

  • Everyone talks about it
  • Everyone wants to do it
  • Nobody knows how
  • When we finally get around to doing it, we’re surprised that it’s not better

And, to do it right, you’ve got to:

  • Be remarkable
  • Show your affection
  • Make him/her feel special
  • Be a hero or be a rebel
  • Be real
  • Make it as good for her/him as it is for you

No doubt all of that is true, except, maybe, for the nobody knows how and we’re surprised it’s not better parts – though I don’t mean to talk out of school. At any rate, all this talk about sex got me thinking about, no not sex, but writing. Sad, isn’t it, but that’s me.

I don’t know whether everyone talks about writing, but a lot of people do. And, I’ve lost track of how many people have told me that they’d love to write a book but don’t know how. I was one of those people until I took the plunge twenty years ago. I wasn’t surprised that my first book, Motion To Kill, wasn’t better because I thought it was pretty damn good even if it did take ten years to get it published. When I got the rights back ten years after it was published and read it again, I wasn’t surprised that it wasn’t better because I’d grown a lot as a writer. I edited it before self-publishing it, stripping out around 10,000 words and made it a better book. Not surprising.

When I sit down at the keyboard, my goal is to be remarkable, to show affection for my characters and to connect with my readers in ways that are special. Some of my characters are heroes and some are rebels and some are both. It’s hard to write a compelling thriller without them. A reader’s willingness to suspend disbelief will only take a writer so far. At some level, the story has to feel real. That doesn’t mean we have to believe in Middle Earth but it does mean that Middle Earth has to feel authentic so that readers will want to go there. Finally, I hope my readers enjoy my books as much as I enjoy writing them.

So how about you? What else do you think is like sex – except for horseshoes and hand grenades where close doesn’t count.

Image source: Marc Lagneau

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